RANDOM THOUGHTS PICKED UP ALONG THE WAY…..
I was taught when I got sober, that my sobriety was based on the continued grow of my spirituality, kind of like at the end of “How It Works” “C. God could and would if He were sought.” Now none of these are original, , (well most of them are not) I am just not that smart or wise but over the years they have grown to mean more to me as I “seek”.
LOVE: (Webster’s deffiniton): the fatherly concern of God for man; man’s adoration of God.
- Doing something for someone else, with no expectation of anything in return.
- Missing their presence in my life. (my deff.)
Being a father myself, I can understand the concern, the doing and the missing; this one has always been nice for me to look at.
God’s Will; will not take me anywhere that God’s Grace will not protect me. (When I am trying to do the right thing, but fear crops up, it is nice to remember that I am not in charge.)
How do I know it works? I’ve never had it so good. (something to remember when I get to patting myself on the back to hard for being such a wonderful person, I am not the one to take the credit, or when the shit hits the fan, I need to remember that this too shall pass, and to look at it from the proper perspective, which is I am sober, and this is most likely another mountain in the drivers window that will be a mole hill in the rear view mirror once it passes)
When I go into tomorrow, I go alone, my God lives in today. (Many times in my life, I have been scared of what the future has in store. I have to remember I only do the footwork, God deals in the results. I may not get what I want, things may not turn out for what I see is the better, but in hindsight, things have always turned out, Right. When I asked my wife to marry me, when we almost lost our youngest daughter in pregnancy, when my wife had cancer, when my Dad died, when I bought a house, when I retired from the military, the two times I lost my brothers, moving to Germany, separating and divorcing my wife, almost dying when I had hernia surgery, the different military, Army, deployments, and it played a real big part, when, for a second I died as a result of a car accident. These were all scary times, and fear raised its ugly head on each and every one of them. But I had to remember, physically remind myself, that all I could do was the foot work, take one step in front of the other, and to trust this God of my understanding, and I can say for 100% that it has always ended for the best, maybe not what I wanted, but what was Right.
When I feel guilty, chances are I am guilty. (Ok, now I never like to admit when I am wrong or have hurt someone, and for the most part it is never intentionally, but I do make mistakes, and I do hurt people, I am human. But what I have had to do is to stop rationalizing it, sharing the blame etc etc etc. I know when I have done something wrong, I feel bad, guilty if you will. And if I feel that way then I need to look at it, man up to it if need be, and try to make it right if possible. That is what I think this God of my understanding wants of me, and I feel better when I do.)
There is no such thing as a small act of kindness. (I have learned in this life, drinking and sober, that there is no way I can tell what effect my actions will have on someone else, so I had best make them good, honorable actions. Sometimes, something that seems small to me may be very large to someone else. I try to leave all those I touch in a day with a smile on their face, or the feeling that it was nice to have contact, interaction, with them. Some days the best gift I can give is a smile. Funny thing about a smile, when I give one, I usually get one back.)
And the last one for now……
If you pray, why worry? If you worry why pray? (Either I believe God is sufficient onto all my needs or I don’t. If I ask for God’s help, really, then I need to believe it is there. Not like He has ever left me a note under my pillow or a message on my voice mail. If I ask for his guidance and direction, then I need to act as just that, I am under his guidance and direction. I need to quit worrying so much and get about doing the foot work to get the job done, my God is not going to do for me what I can do for myself, He is there to give me guidance, direction, strength, and love to see me through the task at hand, so why use up all my energy on worry, it does me no good, benefits’ nothing, and basically lets me lose sleep, and I love to sleep…lol…my God works 24 hours a day)
Just some meandering, ponderings, and random thoughts.
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