Death,
Farewells, Goodbyes
Love
is a quirky thing. One of my definitions being: missing their
physical presence in my life. So if I miss someone then chance’s
are that I love them. This is especially true when someone passes
away. It is easy to forget how much I love someone when they just
down the street or a phone call away. To make excuses as to being
to busy or rushed today to take the time right now for them, is not
uncommon for me, but I realized when people I loved had passed away
how much I would give just to have one more chance to chat and have
coffee.
When
my Dad moved on, it was quick. I was a drill sergeant at the time
when I got word of his passing. The army and my command were very
good at getting me the time to go home and do the necessary things,
but the one big loss I had felt at the time and still do, is just the
having of a little one on one time to have a cup of coffee with him,
and get caught up on life. No major questions needing answered or
help needed, just miss him is all and probably more than enough.
After
my brother Bob passed away, it was a feeling of what a waste. I felt
here was a guy, my brother, who I just wish I could have shook some
sense into. A man who had so much love in his life, but was so deep
in the pit that his drinking had dug that he was blind to the path
where the sun waited to warm his soul. Being sober myself, I knew the
solution, but could not get my brother to see. I know what it is like
to not be able to see until I am ready to see. I also know that
sobriety is something you have to want. I have met many who need it,
but it is those that want it, that have a chance. I just sometimes
forget that when I am dealing with someone I love. I would like to
make it easier for them but I know that does not work.
With
my brother Dennis's passing, I felt like I was at the funeral of a
man I never really knew. He had been out of my and my families life
for close to if not more than twenty years. So in reality I really
did not know him, and that to me was a shame. When I was helping to
clear out his stuff from the house, I was coming across items that I
would like to have talked to my brother about. I can remember talking
with him and it seemed every thing was just surface conversation and
not anything of depth. I know he must have had some issues in his
life and I would have liked to talk to him about those. I can
honestly say I was never able to really figure out what made him tick
and that was my loss. It is sad to have a brother I did not know
well.
much more to follow.....
