My Little Sisterhood.

My Own Personal Little Sisterhood…LOL

        I cannot pin a date on when, but it must be over 15 yrs ago, that I started using the term “little sister”.  It is a term personal to me in its meaning.  I currently have a large group of little sisters, and they know they are my little sisters because that is how I address them when talking to them.

The idea was planted in my brain when I first got sober.  When I got sober (through God’s Grace naturally), I had a lot of issues, LOL, everything from alcohol, financial, legal, and family to physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual. (I guess you could say every aspect of my life had turned to shit, guess that’s why they call it a bottom.) Now I like to fix things, and when I got sober I wanted to fix all these areas. I was going to do sober, better, faster and more successfully than everyone else. (ok little ego problem there) And then my sponsor pointed out that I could not fix any of these problems, all I could do was take the right, proper action (footwork) and trust in God to do the rest.

Now when I drank, I was a drunken little dog looking for a leg to hump.  When I got sober, I was a sober little dog looking for a leg to hump. (kind of blunt but that’s the truth of it) Now when I got sober I was sick, I had not learned, let alone taken any actions, on the tools laid out in the big book.  But there were some things I could do.  I could stay out of relationships (especially sexual relationships) till I had worked on my sobriety some.  I could get to know the person, develop a friendship before waking up with them in bed next to me. I could learn to take into consideration who they are instead of only looking at my wants and taking action.  These were some seriously drastic changes in my thought and action patterns, LOL.       

I was 27 almost 28 years old when I got sober, and in my initial sobriety I met and befriended two very lovely young women.  The first had gotten sober just before me, and the second had gotten sober just after I had.  These two young ladies, (think they were 26 and 22 at the time) were the first of my little sisters, (although I had not thought of that term yet). For my first year in sobriety, they were little stars that shown in my galaxy and to this day I still pray and thank God for having them in my life.  The first one was in hindsight, outside of family, the first woman I can honestly say that l loved. Loved her for who she was; the person, not the body. Oh and by the way they were both extremely attractive. They were both two young ladies that I could ask myself, what could I do for them, and not expect anything from them in return. They both allowed me to learn about myself and about my relationships with women, without fear.  I do not think they realized any of this while it was happening, and I only saw it in hindsight, but I thank God for them.

Now since then, many things have come to shape this little sister mentality I have developed.  A book I like to read once and awhile says “that all men are my brothers” so I take that to mean then, that all women are my sisters. Now in sobriety I have met many women; young, old, in sobriety, just normal types, some hurt emotionally, some not.  Some I have dated, some were just casual, some were sexual in nature, and some were not.  I have gotten married, separated and now divorcing. I have pretty much run the gambit on relationships. 

Little sisters are a totally different ball of wax.  They are women who when I meet them, something just clicks inside me.  They do not fall into the dating / sexual mold.  They do not fall into the friend / acquaintance mold.  They are women who I feel become part of my extended family.  I think of them as little sisters (and age doesn’t matter) and I am their older brother.  They are women who I like to tease, have coffee with, have dinner with, but more in the big brother to little sister way. Those whom life I enjoy hearing about, wishing them the best and doing what I can to be of help. When I call someone a little sister, they might just assume it is a cute term, but to me, it really is a term of affection and love.  I know what the term means to me, so when I use it, it is intentional, with thought behind it, not just a random wording.

This has made my life a whole lot easier to live, which is why I do it. I no longer have to keep score, or notches on the bedpost. I can treat women as ladies and not objects.  I am able to separate those I would like to get to know in a more personal way from those I like as a person. It helps me to do away with game playing and keep my life simple, honest and useful. I think that is how this God of my understanding likes it.  So that is how my little sisterhood began and what it means to me.